SEX AND CHILDHOOD: TALKING ABOUT SEX? USE THE RIGHT TERMS

If circumstances make it hard to answer your child’s questions there and then, remember to bring it up again later. If a child senses that a parent is uncomfortable with certain subjects, they will soon learn that it’s not okay to ask. It’s easier to train kids not to ask than it is to keep the lines of communication open.

Avoid using slang words: a penis is a penis; a vulva is a vulva. As we mature towards adulthood, we need a vocabulary to describe ourselves emotionally and physically. Without an effective sexual vocabulary, we cannot hope to fully communicate with a partner on that level. Learning the right words is part of good preparation.

Mind you, despite the best of intentions a child doesn’t always get the words right first time. A friend’s daughter came home from school one day and said that they had talked about sex at school. My friend asked her what she had learnt. ‘Well Mum’, she said confidently. ‘First we learnt that a man has a penis and a lady has a Volvo.’ Back to the old drawing board!

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